him...........just him

It just seems like every time gets harder and harder. why am I doing this to myself .its like a bitter sweet feeling. I love it but at the same time its hurting .i dont know what to do i know its wrong but it feels so right . I hope it is sooner then later I cry all the time I dont want to. to be honest I just wish I didnt love him anymore because it is just to hard to love him but not being able to love him the way I was suppose to ,the way that I adapted to , the way I was born to .pretty much ? I think ? it all just cam so naturally like a arm growing to some ones body you can help it ,its just there you cant break it away or rip it off . its just .......... there like my love for him