never explained ,never said , never heard

There was always things that I couldn't explain like how I felt about the past and things that happened a while ago . I never knew and still dont know how to just accept it  . Its really hard when you love someone to try and figure out why they wanted to hurt you if you never did anything wrong to them. and why did you deserve bad things to happen to you when you didnt do anything . I just never knew. Now there is this one song called call your girlfriend and I always thought that song was meant for me .for the next girl to tell him to  tell me to call me and tell me that we have to talk and for him to give his reason and tell me that is not his fault but hes meet somebody nee. I always thought that these lyrics was for me but i look now and see how they should of been for her . lol . it sounds crazy but i look back and saw what we did and knew how we felt about each other and how he didnt have to explain to her about how is was so different when we kiss because even though we was not together we had very deep feelings for each other and this is why we are together now and how I look back and laugh and think about how she thought that she really meant something sorry but if you did you would with him now and not me.Now im talking about some one that i was with for 4 years now ,we have a baby together and we starting a life together ( marriage).This makes me not think about things like that so much and gets me past all of this .Is that a bad thing? but im happy i got my life back and the person that means the world to me ( not only aj,my son ) .I feel a lot better getting it off my chest and to actually know what was holding me back .I have finally closed that book and burned it (just like the name tag)